Weeping at weddings: it’s universal

Posted on August 28, 2012

On Saturday I went to one of the loveliest weddings I’ve been to in ages. Admittedly, weddings are few and far between for me these days, with most of my friends cruising past the ‘decade’ marker and some approaching their China wedding celebrations. (China? Seriously? Not even an amethyst or something?)

So, imagine if you will, late afternoon light filtering through the trees to cast a golden glow. Garlands fluttering in the (admittedly chilly) breeze. Big fat balloons dancing on their tethers. Handmade bits of fabulousness hanging out of trees. Confetti in lolly bags. The bride in cowboy boots, the groom in spectacular sneakers.

And everyone crying.

The bride trying to keep her mascara in place. The groom choking on his vows. The best man splashing salt all over his Man In Black ensemble. The friends weeping, the family weeping, eyes welling up all over the joint.

We were all so happy, you see. The wettest wedding I’ve ever seen.

My propensity to cry at weddings, any wedding, whether I know the couple or not, is legendary. I don’t wail like Maxabella, but my eyes hurt with the blinking. Since I’ve had kids, it’s true, I cry at pretty much anything. Particularly children singing or giving speeches or generally doing anything that requires them to be earnest and innocent and young and… oh dear, I’m weeping at my keyboard just thinking about it.

It makes school assemblies quite entertaining for everyone else, let me tell you.

I wondered if the whole weeping at weddings thing was universal. So I ran a little survey on Facebook and Twitter. And,  yes, at least 80 per cent* of us are blubbering away from the moment the wedding march begins.

One Facebook friend, a photographer, admits that she cries even when she’s only at the wedding on a professional basis – to the point where one Father of the Bride had to offer her a tissue during the speeches. I love that commitment to the job!

Others were frank about saving their tears for funerals, and I get that. I cry at them, too. I guess my emotions leak out of my eyes whether happy or sad. But then, I also cry in movies. I couldn’t watch Beaches these days. Or Steel Magnolias. I was incoherent in both of them way back in my late teens. Imagine how I’d be these days, based on my school assembly performances. Doesn’t bear thinking about.

There are no weddings in my future that I can see. Sadly. I’ll have to save my wedding weeping for the television version. Though I have to admit that a TV wedding hasn’t really captured my imagination since Scott and Charlene’s big day on Neighbours. Which was a while ago. I’m not going to think about exactly how long ago.

That would really make me cry.

*please do not check my maths – I put together a guesstimate based on the comments I received. there is nothing scientific about my surveys. and it’s a well-known fact that statistics will say whatever you want them to say. ask anyone.

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  2. Angie @ The Little Mumma

    I love a wedding! I definitely shed a little tear or two, particularly if the bride and groom are teary, too.

    I do see at least one wedding in my future…and that would be MINE. We decided to get engaged, have a kid and THEN get married. Crazy fools, we thought something could be about us AFTER baby. Three kids down and no confetti. But we live in hope…

  3. Tam

    OK, so I get weepy at weddings, and I’m completely with you on Beaches and SM (plus a host of other films that left me howling for days). But I don’t cry at funerals. Weirdo, or cold hearted bitch? I’m not sure, myself!

  4. Maxabella

    PS – 1000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is not spam !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • allison tait

      Oh really? I hadn’t noticed (tee hee).

  5. Maxabella

    I’m an absolutely in stitches at the idea of a wedding photographer who cries on the job. That is just gold. I want to make a short film about her (now that editing film is my new passion). x

    • allison tait

      You would love her. Her work is just beautiful as well.

  6. Nikki Fisher

    I am laughing reading this because if I wasn’t I’d be crying. yes motherhood cracks the heart wide open and that is somehow connected to the tearducts I think the quote about ‘having a child is to forever have your heart go walking around outside your body’ sums it up. If it makes you feel any better I couldn’t watch most of the Olympics because regardless of the country, win or lose I’d cry. And as for school assemblies, my son started Prep this year. Say no more.

  7. Seana Smith

    I love a wedding and always feel weepy… but still don’t fancy one myself… why is that? I don’t know!

    Oh it has been a long time since I’ve been to a wedding and a short time since a funeral, I do feel old.

    Cried with happiness at the school plays for the 6 year olds last week. The collective noun for parents on these occasions is a ‘pride of parents.’

  8. Elisa {with grace and eve}

    I bloody hell I got all choked up reading this and thinking about my own wedding! Hopeless! x

  9. Lipgloss Mumma

    I cry at everything and anything these day. Safe to say I am an emotional wreck.

  10. Anonymous

    Many years ago remember our young son (maybe ten or eleven) discovered me sitting with streaming eyes when I was watching Madam Butterfly (Placido Domingo version)on television. It was at the point where the heroine is singing “One Fine Day”. Opera was not something he’d ever thought about but he was so surprised that it would reduce me to floods of tears that he sat down with me and watched it too. Didn’t bring him to tears but he was very interested. He was a little like your Mr 5 (in previous post), and he’s grown up to be a very caring man who is adored by his own children (not to mention his Mum and Dad and wife). Though having been a champion sportsman he’s not one who’d ever be seen crying publicly. Best wishes, Pamela

  11. Lisa@RandomActsOfZen

    I’m a hopeless wedding crier (cryer??), except at my own, when I just couldn’t stop smiling!
    School assemblies leave me a red-eyed mess, and as for sad movies, I can’t even think about them any more. This out of control emotional state started when our daughter was born, and I can’t see it changing any time soon.

  12. alison@thisbloominglife

    I’m a shocker! Assembly gets me every time, even worse when I hear those little voices singing, there is no way to hide it. There’s something about those young ones with all their hope and potential that just gets me going. Oops, teary as I think of it. Better go and wipe my eyes…

  13. Cath

    I love that we are emotional, passionate people… What I love more is discovering that my munchkin is one too. We watched A Knight’s Tale with him over the past couple of nights, and he absolutely lost it when William went to visit his now blind father – now that brought tears to my eyes. Cannot imagine what I’ll be like at school performances! Movies, books, (school) concerts, weddings, funerals… all important parts of life and personal story that need a good weep!

  14. Kelly Exeter

    Not only do I cry at weddings … yesterday I cried watching the preview of a movie! Safe to say that I doubt I will be watching the movie!!

  15. therhythmmethod

    I cry at everything. I’ve been known to cry at the funerals of people I don’t know very well. I worry that the families think I am a nut bag, trying to ride on the grief train, but I really just can’t hold it in. And the more I tell myself to stop, the more it comes.
    The wedding sounds lovely.

  16. Susanna Freymark

    Yes I too am a wedding weepy. My worry is my own wedding. On October 6, I’d really like to not blubber at that one.

    • allison tait

      Oh no! You should totally blubber at your own wedding! It’s essential. You’ll bring the whole crowd down with you. It will be wonderful. Good luck and have a wonderful day!

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