Conversations from the cafe

Posted on May 5, 2011

Today, Mr4 and I enjoyed what he likes to call a ‘Mr4 Day’, whereby he gets to choose the activities for the day and we generally steer clear of the supermarket. Supermarket shopping is not on Mr4’s list of favourite things to do, which is fine by me because taking Mr4 supermarket shopping is definitely not on mine.

Interestingly, Mr4 Day generally involves doing all the things we would normally do on our days together – minus the supermarket bit. So we go to the DVD shop and pick him up another ABC Kids masterpiece. We have a milkshake. We ‘poke about’ in bookshops and pop in to say hello to our friends who run some of Fibrotown’s best shops.

It’s a good arrangement.

Our milkshake today took place, controversially, after a visit to a shop and, more specifically, after I had purchased not one, but two pairs of shoes (they were 30 per cent off – practically free!). Mr4 was not happy with the deviation from our Mr4 Day plans. I had some making up to do. This is a small excerpt of the conversation that followed…

The scene: A busy cafe in central Fibrotown. Mr4 is steered away from his favourite seat right in the doorway, allowing him the space to run in and out and climb on the ledge outside the large window so he can make funny faces at me through the glass. We settle on the ‘comfy chairs’ up the back and he sits happily with his DVD while I order not just a small chocolate milkshake but a Smartie cookie as well. When I return, we sit chatting about the wonders of Fireman Sam for a few minutes until his milkshake arrives, at which point I take the opportunity to bustle to the front of the cafe and swipe a newspaper from a recently vacated table. Upon my return, I find him sucking on his straw, deep in thought…

Mr4: “Mum, when you get big does your bottom get big too?”

Me (choking on latte): “Well, it grows to keep up with you. You’d look silly if you were as big as me with a bottom as little as yours.”

He sucks his straw, considering, big blue eyes quizzical.

Mr4: “But does it have to be as big as yours?”

Me (trying hard not to laugh): “Are you worried that your bottom might be the same size as mine one day?”

Mr4 nods vigorously.

Me: “Right, then… More Smartie cookie for me.”

[image: jim8ball/etsy]


  1. Clarabel

    Brought a smile to my face, you can always rely on kids for honesty!

    My friends 4 year old pointed to a spot on my cheek, asked if I had chicken pox! Think it’s time to change my concealer 🙂

  2. Mrs BC

    Too funny! How nice to spend a day with one child too. I’ts important to have one on one time with the kidlets.
    I was up a lot last night with the flu & this morning the 6 yr old told me he could see cracks in my eyes. I feel your pain 🙂

  3. Kellie

    Oh, I so needed that laugh! Classic! Didn’t see that one coming, did he? He’ll think twice about what he says in the future, I’m sure! LOL! 🙂

  4. Tracy Todd

    This made me laugh! Children say the cutest things. My son once tried to plump up my arm because he said it was soft like a pillow… okay. Maybe I need to start exercising. 🙂

  5. E.

    Score. More cookie for you!

    Love it.

  6. MultipleMum

    Too cute Al. God help what he thinks of the rest of the bottoms in the family (would have been interested had he met the late Leila!). He is gorgeous and I think Mr 4 day sounds awesome! Doo Dah will be most jealous x

  7. Sarah

    I love the rare occasions I get to spend with one of the offspring on their own. And doesn’t your Mr 4 come out with some absolute pearlers? Love him.

  8. River

    HaHa!! Delighted smile here.
    I love how you turned that around so YOU got the cookie!

  9. Amanda

    What a lovely laugh to start my morning with! I’m often saying how I can’t wait for my little man to start to talk and without fail a more experienced parent nearby will tell me I’ll definitely live to regret it!

  10. A Farmer's Wife

    Gorgeous. We have had similar comments. My favourite was Farmgirl asking why my tummy goes “squishy” when I sit down.

  11. Corinne – Daze of My Life

    Oh dear! I can relate. Over Easter I was sitting on the beach chatting to Miss2.5 about all sorts of things we could see, she then turned to me and said: “Mum, you have a really big bum.”

    Just what you want to hear while sitting on the beach in your cossie!

  12. deerbabyalison

    Your Mr 4 days sound lovely.

    I’m glad you’ve written that one down for posterity. Or even posteriority.

  13. therhythmmethod

    LOL. Had to read that one out to Mr Karen. We’ve enjoyed (or endured) similar observations in our house.
    Love Mr 4 Day! How wonderful. 🙂

  14. Suzi

    Lol! Kids, why do we have em?
    One of mine asked a man he saw at the shops with only one leg if he was a pirate once…

  15. Rebekah

    Oh gosh so darn cute.
    Life would be so boring without kids wouldn’t it 😉

  16. todd carr

    haha– gotta love it. omg, I get the worst complexes when I’m around the honesty of lit’l ones—I had one kid ask if I had black eyes as he observed the dark circles underneath my eyes. “thanks kid….thanks a lot”

  17. Ashley

    LOL. Dang kids always got point out the things you don’t want sticking out. They make life fun, don’t they!

  18. Cheers!

    I love days with just 1 kid…they are truly a blessing. Even when the one makes big bottom comments. 😉

  19. melissa

    Oh, that absolutely made me laugh out loud.

    We had a conversation about ‘boobies’ today – Mr 3 is convinced he’d like to grow a pair when he is a man… 🙂

  20. tinsenpup

    Oh, how sweet. It’s too cute to take offense.

  21. Sarah Mac

    I used to have days like that with my daughter before she started school, we called them Mummy/ Lolly days, I miss them.

    Once while watching me get dressed she said, (in all seriousness damnit!) “Mummy, you’re bottom’s too big for those pants”!

  22. BOB & MABEL

    Kids come out with the best stuff. My 3 like to tell me how big my boobies are, apparently the are HUGE. The truth is that they are tiny!

  23. Jodie at Mummy Mayhem



    The 4yo loves…LOVES my ‘squishy’ tummy. He lifts my top and squeezes it and kisses it and says, “I love your tummy sooo much, Mummy.” Which I’m completely fine with.

    So long as he doesn’t do it in public, you know? 😉

  24. Mama of 2 boys

    Brilliant! I love this! I can’t stop laughing. Seriously. Hilarious.
    Your Mr4 and my Mr3 would get on like a house on fire. My Mr3 is also king of the backhanded compliment :o)

  25. Diminishing Lucy

    He is adorable. Your day with him sounds lovely.

    (Charlie told me the other day that my neck smelled like a pudding…I was unsure as to whether to laugh or cry?)

  26. InkPaperPen

    Oh no! This made me laugh! Not at your expense, laughing in appreciation of your witty story telling! Plus, I know your pain – my 3 year old told me yesterday that my face looked funny “with all those crinkles in it”. Jeez, they know how to make you feel good about yourself

  27. PinkPatentMaryJanes

    Out of the mouths of babes… But I’d like to think it’s the whole ‘hips’ aspect he’s referring to – you know, curves rather than a bloke’s straight up and down. (But I am an eternal optimist…) Hope you enjoyed the smartie cookie x Oh, and smarty-pants w.v. is sting!

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