The (tardy) Tooth Fairy

Posted on November 24, 2010

I’m going to have to have a chat with the Tooth Fairy. Who didn’t come last night. Again. She will now be known in this house as Tardy Fairy.

As I explained to Mr6 this morning, it’s not that she forgot him. Oh no. It’s just that our last name is towards the end of the alphabet. Maybe she just didn’t get to him yet.

He thought about that for a moment. “But what about Santa? He does the WHOLE WORLD in one night.”


“Yes,” said I. “But he has eight reindeers and a few elves to help. The Tooth Fairy is small. She has only herself. She probably gets tired. And lost – there may be GPS on a sleigh, but not on her wings.”

He thought about that for a moment. “You’re probably right. She took a few days to get here last time as well.”

Tooth Fairy fail.

I was relating this tale to my Mum and Dad a few hours later. They laughed. “It always took her at least four or five days to get to our house.” Funny, I don’t remember that. Probably because it was TICH who bore the brunt of Tooth Fairy fatigue.

Anyhoo, I put in a call to the Tardy Fairy. She assures me she’ll be there tonight, unless there’s a problem with the air currents. We also had a little chat about rates. When she began her tenure at the Fibro, she started out with 20c. Then, a change in Tooth Fairy personnel took the rates up to $2 for the next tooth. Talk about inflation. But we’ve agreed that $1 a tooth is a fair rate, though she did niggle a little over conditions. She’s not happy with the espresso cup in which Mr6 leaves his tooth. She’d prefer a tooth fairy pillow (such as the one pictured by Hannalah on etsy.com). I didn’t think I’d cope with having to find the pillow, let alone remember to use it.

I asked Mr6 how many more teeth he thought he had to lose. “Hopefully lots Mum,” he answered, cheerfully. “I’m saving for a Lego Death Star.” Given they’re about $300, he’ll need to start stealing other people’s teeth to afford it purely on ill-gotten Fairy gains.

Either that, or he’s in secret negotiations himself with the Tardy Fairy and I can expect a strike for higher rates any tooth now.

Is the Tooth Fairy on time at your place? What’s the going rate?


  1. Jenn Erickson

    It’s taken me a while to visit all the wonderful bloggers who paid me a visit on my SITS day, but at last I’m in the home stretch…and as I sat here visiting your lovely blog, my little girl, age 6, came up to me wiggling her tooth. Hmmm…. I’m not sure if our local tooth fairy has any spare change. Perhaps we’ll be having a Tardy fairy as well! Thank you so much for sharing this heartwarming slice of life from your family. It is such a pleasure to “meet” you! Best, Jenn/Rook No. 17

  2. The Clip Cafe

    lol how cute 🙂 We haven’t had the tooth fairy I must be a bad mum :-S

  3. Belinda

    We’ve had a few disasters. Miss L’s tooth was put in water on the bench I went to work, forgot to tell Mr. Kypo and he thought it was another dirt cup and washed it out. Tooth and all. Yikes.

    Another time the tooth fairy came and forgot to take the tooth. X

  4. MultipleMum

    The tooth fairy hasn’t been required at our place as yet. Nugget is keen, but I am happy to wait. I like River’s Mum’s system 🙂

  5. Maxabella

    It’s not the tooth fairy who is tardy at our place – it’s the teeth. Max is desperate to wobble one out but those fangs are having none of it.

    We’ll probably drop a gold coin under the pillow in exchange when it finally happens. I like my children to think we’re not the only ones trying to buy their love… x

  6. Tenille

    We’re yet to require the services of the Tooth Fairy here, but I do remember her leaving me $2 a tooth, and that was well over 20 years ago. I have no idea why she was so generous, but I’m not expecting the rates to increase much in the next few years.

  7. 74 Lime Lane

    sounds the same tardy fairy gets around to a few places, including here, no wonder she’s always late. I think at our house it might be the glass or two of wine she indulges in when she’s visiting and it completely slips her mind.
    $2 a tooth at this house ~ paper bag {not the best idea, very noisy!}

  8. LINDA from OEKE

    I just found your blog via ‘Fat Mum Slim’ blog – and it’s like you are my twin. Tooth fairies, lego death star, boys/boys/boys .. weird. Will have to remember to come back here and see what else is happening (-:

  9. E.

    The tooth fairy has been a tardy fairy here too. Obviously she is way to busy. I wonder if she hangs out at the houses where $5 per tooth is the going rate in stead of here where the going rate is generally $1.00 except for the first tooth (and sometimes the top front teeth when it’s $2).

  10. juststopspeaking

    The tooth fairy is directionally challenged – we base this theory on the fact we have moved across the country not once but TWICE in the past few years. The Son attempted to remedy this by leaving notes for her in the various gardens (all fairies hang out in the garden, RIGHT?).

    Anyhoo, TF does eventually show up most times – and the going rate is $2 – all except for the time the tooth in question went down the drain hole in the bathroom -then the PLUMBER showed up and his going rate was somewhat more pricey.

    Childhood – it’s an expensive business…..

  11. PinkPatentMaryJanes

    I just blogged about this very topic – it was probably my fault she didn’t come last night – she had to pay double rates for an extracted tooth at our house!

  12. Melissa

    The tooth fairy is tardy in this house too! We also use a glass not a pillow. The first tooth Mr nearly 9 lost was put under his pillow & his bed was covered in ants the next morning (yuk!). I love your explanation 🙂 Oh, and the going rate is $1 per tooth.

  13. In Real Life

    Oh my gosh! I was so happy to read this! I was carrying around mom guilt, that ours was the only house where the tooth-fairy arrived late! I had daydream visions when my children were infants of pretty tooth-fairy pillows, and charming notes…then when my daughter lost her first tooth abruptly, I wasn’t prepared, and the tooth fairy has often been behind schedule. I always just explained that she must have been so busy, she couldn’t make it that night. Luckily, this explanation was accepted as reasonable, and as my children lost their teeth, it was often expected that she wouldn’t make it until the next night. My son just has one or two molars left, and then we will no longer require the tardy fairies services at our house.

  14. Lucy

    We have only required the services of the Tooth fairy once thus far – Olivia’s toothypegs are only just beginning to fall out. And the tooth fairy was MIA even on her first night of work! How slack?!

    Her awol nature was redeemed fast the next morning – the little pot containing the teeth was just far too heavy for the poor tooth fairy. As was the $2 coin – didn’t you know it, the tooth fairy dropped it down the back of the bed?

    So the remiss tooth fairy survives employment to attend another shift, when required.

    I shall have to remind her to get her shit together a little better for her next event……

  15. Hot Cross Mum

    Love it! My 5 yr old is begging his teeth to fall out so the tooth fairy can visit. I think small coins will be the going rate in our house – probably 50c for a small tooth and â‚Ŧ1 when the big fellas start dropping out. Good luck – hope she remembers, I mean, makes it on time tonight!

  16. @jencull (jen)

    Fell around laughing at the Lego Death Star, I have an SW lego fan here too, important stuff!! Jen

  17. Rachel

    Oh My Goodness…. That fairy is tardy all over the world it would seem… Im laughing my head of here… she never arrives on time in our house in fact she totally forgot the last time a tooth was lost…. and about 2 weeks later Bop says that fairy never came… so I to had to give her a call lol….
    the going rate here is 50c to a dollar …us dollar …. Bop did tell me she thought you should get $5 for teeth cause of the pain you go through PULLING THEM OUT…yep thats right if its wobbly its coming out in Bops book so she helps it along the way

  18. Glen

    ha – bless.

    your tardy fairy has been to our house too. The other day the boys wrote Christmas lists and for the first time ever, placed them in the fireplace to be collected by elves.

    Sadly the Elves were busy and the envelopes were still there the next morning – oops! Luckily they managed to come and get them the next night when they got their Elf-car back from the garage.

  19. littlemissairgap

    We have a tardy fairy at times. We often blame the weather for her tardiness (fairies find it hard to fly in high winds and rain apparently) and so far that’s been accepted. Tooth Fairy pays $2 here as that’s the only coin which fits into the tooth box … a 5c piece also fits but that would just be plain cheap on the Tooth Fairy’s behalf 😉

  20. River

    We didn’t have the tooth fairy, we had the tooth fairy’s assistant, AKA Mum, the rate for teeth was 50c for regular teeth and $1 for molars, If the molars had any decay spots they’d be reduced to the 50c rate. Helped a lot in getting the teeth brushed twice a day.

  21. Bronnie and family

    Glad our household is not the only one with a tardy fairy, although luckily I have a connection with her, and with some nifty slight of hand, we often find the coins the kids missed in the most unusual of places. For the first tooth, the got $2, king of like a bounty bonus I guess. It was $1 from there, but now we are separated the tooth goes from house to house, so they STILL get $2. I think the caper may be up …

  22. Cate

    Tooth fairy gives $1 at our house, unless she’s late, and then it goes up $1 for every night she’s late…luckily she’s never had to pay out more than $2. However, last time we had a tooth-loss the next morning we were met with Monkey shouting ‘Yay, the tooth fairy forgot!!’ Monkey’s saving for a beanie kid don’t you know…xxx

  23. Naturly

    Our Tooth Fairy takes about 2 days to get to our house! Must be the long, steep driveway. She pays $2.. My friends tooth fairy gave her son $10 for his first tooth!! Then I reminded her how many teeth the kid has and I think the rate has dropped!

  24. anecdotalanna

    That’s Tardy Fairy has been slotted back to part-time casual I think. Been a bit lax in attending to our household needs as well.
    When she does decide to show up it is a $1 score for the kids.

  25. anjwritesabout.com

    Hmmm, luckily, she’s not yet ad to visit our house. But we can’t hold out forever…and I reckon she’ll probably lose her way to our place to. I have the excuse that we’ve moved country, though. Surely that’ll give my (I mean, her) excuse extra strength? 😉

  26. Kirsty

    This is a great post!

    I hadn’t even thought that one day in the not-to-distant-future I would have to entertain the idea of the Tooth Fairy, ahem Tardy Fairy, coming to my house. But I’m sure when the time comes Master Currently Two Point Five will remind me.

    But will I remember? That remains to be seen but I know that I will remember this post and chuckle about it. A. Lot.

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