Don’t bother me, I’m bathing

Posted on November 3, 2010

If you believe the media, the bath is the last retreat for mothers. Tired? Have a bath. Stressed? Have a bath. Kids driving you mad? Have a bath. Housework getting you down? Have a bath. Having trouble juggling work/home/family/life? Have a bath. There is nothing, it seems, that cannot be cured by closing the door and pouring an essential oil upon troubled waters.

Bath humbug.

I like a bath. I do. I’m just out of one right now. No essential oils – the best we stretch to in the Fibro at present is the one-litre economy-sized Space Bubbles mix. Lots of bubbles. Kid friendly. Smells like bath water. Still, it’s not like I didn’t make an effort. But I do have one bone to pick with the ‘a bath will solve all your troubles’ brigade.

Bath toys.

How is a mother supposed to relax in her bathing sanctuary when she is sharing head-room with a small flotilla of dank boats? How is she supposed to light a candle and lie back and think of nothing (and we all know I’m not that great at that bit anyway), when there is a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figure poised to leap down on her from the tap? How, oh how, is she supposed to get into the whole relaxation mode when she has to clear four aeroplanes, a Batman figure, three cups of assorted sizes, a couple of bubble blowers, a water pistol or two, Ben 10’s skateboard and a plastic syringe from the bath before she can fill it?

Everything but the duck.

We have tried many methods of corralling the bath toys. We have strung them up in a net affixed with suction cups. Not enough suction. We have stashed them in plastic boxes, from which they quickly escape. We have culled and re-culled and culled again. Still they breed.

So, yes, here I am, fresh from my bath. Am I relaxed? Am I feeling ready to juggle the work/home/family/life conundrum? No. I am too tired from juggling bath toys.


  1. Emma

    Where on earth do all these bath toys come from exactly? I can’t remember having nearly so many as a kid.

  2. Bernadette

    I like a bath when I’m sick. Something comforting about it.

    When our daughter was little we had the shittest bath ever. It was just the bottom of the shower cubicle, so when we bought our next home, a bath was high on the wish list. Now, we all have showers, bath hardly gets used, but it represents something. A comfort. xx

  3. Seana Smith

    Oh, I used to love taking a long, slow “non-working” bath before I had the kids… I’d forgotten. Now it’s my teen son who loves avbath, and he can’t bear the little ones’ bath toy detritus.

  4. Naomi

    Yes well, I so love a relaxing bath and am constantly throwing away toys from the bath tub. The other night I lay down in a relaxing bath, moved my head slightly, knocked over a toy and had a large amount of freezing cold water run down my neck and shoulders. So not my idea of time out! I hear you…I really do!

  5. Ms Styling You

    You’re spot on with those bath toys … baths are now reserved for hotel visits.

  6. Zoey @ Good Goog

    I have to admit that although I was a bath person pre-child, I am no longer one. I suspect it has something to do with the bath toys. I now seek solace in the shower. But as far as relaxation goes? A bath or shower is a distant second to a glass of wine and a good book.

  7. Marion Williams-Bennett

    Oh, I love this post. Just love it.

    The magic of the bath as though we’ll just dip into lavender scented dream space with candles bubbles and bliss.

    Flour child has the right idea pour some wine, put the kids in the tub, and sit back.


  8. Rhi@FlourChild

    I think it’s much more relaxing to throw the kids in the bubble bath with all their slimey pokey toys, while I sit on a chair in the bathroom with a nice glass of wine and a book. Relaxed and dry and un-climbed upon for at least 10 minutes!

  9. Littlemissairgap

    If we’re ever crazy enough to do a major reno again, I’ll make sure I get my own bath, but then again, by the time we can probably afford to do another reno, I’ll be able to get the bath we do have to myself.
    A pox upon those women who taunt us with their tales of expensive French candles, wine & soft music whilst they relax endlessly in their deep claw foot bath. Methinks they’re big fat fibbers 😉

  10. Naturally Carol

    All of those articles were probably written to advertise all the businesses connected with bathing. Relaxing the body does not necessarily relax the mind. I find my mind relaxes when it’s enjoying itself…being immersed in a good story…being creative with colour…loving a good conversation…praying, singing and sleeping…lol! Relaxing the body..easy..not moving! Bathing doesn’t have to come in to it.

  11. Cate

    How odd, I read this post the first time ’round and didn’t comment?? (how *very* unlike me!!) – well let’s remedy that right now!!
    The only bath in our house is in the kids bathroom…so I really can’t complain that it’s full of toys – although they are pretty good at packing them back into the shopping basket-thingy that we keep them in (you know, those charming plastic ones they have in the actual supermaket) – classy, no. practical, yes 🙂
    have a great weekend

  12. tinsenpup

    Yes, we have the net; a metal basket hanging off the side and various cups jugs, bottles and plastic ducks perched precariously around the edge. At present there is a pile of little (plastic) internal organs nesting in the soap dish. It’s probably a good thing I hate baths anyway.

  13. Felicity

    Oh the joys of a ‘toy free’ ensuite!
    I hope that you’ve found an alternative way to ‘float your boat’ since this post was first published!

    x Felicity

  14. A Farmer's Wife

    I can remember this post from the first time around. Mainly because it struck a chord.

    Have given in on the net type arrangements for bath toys and just keep them in an ugly blue ice cream container. It works better than anything else I have tried….

  15. Kymmie

    How many times have I thought this (and never posted about it). Doh! But at least you have done the thought so much justice. My favourite part of the week is curling up in my bubble bath with trashy novel/magazine to read. I have the bath so hot that I’m sweating in it. But it’s pure blissful time for me… once I get the toys out and clean out the bath first.

  16. Megan

    Agreed! Add to that the fact that we only have a bath that half an adult body fits into – it’s very short and very shallow – so you end up freezing amidst kids’ toys… not fun.

    Part of our renovation is a new bathroom with a big bath, so fingers crossed it’ll be more relaxing. And my daughter now hates baths so I might not even transfer the toys over. Not sure about a bath solving all the problems of the world though…


    Hi Allison, Just found your lovely blog. I also purchased a Fibro! However we did complete a major reno on the old girl prior to moving in! I think she has forgiven us now 🙂 Just the garden to sort out… Have fun, Lisa

  18. Thea

    Hehe, bath humbug…love it!
    I always wanted a house with a bath…now I live in one and I never use it, except to bath the children.
    Give me the shower any day!!

  19. River

    I don’t find baths at all relaxing. Sleeps are the thing.

    The toy bag on a butchers hook is a great idea. I used to have an old fashioned wire bicycle basket hooked up over the shower screen for the toys when my 4 were little.

  20. Maxabella

    I love your ‘bath humbug’ moment. Baths are bliss for about 4 1/2 minutes and then just so bloody boring! I can’t relax when my book might get wet. I can’t relax without a book.

    But, when I do attempt in my 4 1/2 minute bath, I do it without toys.

    We stash the 87 plastic bath toys and containers in a green shopping bag (not quite a Coles one, it’s a Cotton On Kids Easter one so it has a snazzy rabbit design on it) that I hang from a butcher’s hook off the shower cubicle over the bathtub. When I first did it I was sure that it would last a month at best. That was 2 years ago and that bag just keeps on giving.

    I have one with a pirate theme if you would like it? Or fairies? x

  21. Toni

    Our bathtub is the size of the average roasting pan and I haven’t yet availed myself of its’ beauty. I just hate having to turn myself like a rotisserie chicken to make sure everything gets wet.
    But I DO love a nice, hot bath in winter, and my fantasies involve a big-ass old-fashioned hipbath, a wooden chair piled high with thick, fluffy towels, a glass of red and a good book.

  22. Raine and Sage

    Your right. Kids toys and relaxing adult bath are not a match. You need to throw all the toys in a box, turn out the light, put on a candle, and use the adult smelly oils. Relax (Frankie says so). x

  23. Cath

    Alas, my bath is more of a size that suits a munchkin playtime than a long, relaxing soak. How can you relax when your feet are halfway up the wall? But I feel your pain re the bath toys. The combination of clearing out the bath of assorted smelly plastic, then cleaning it, all for a half body soak is just not worth it. One day I’m going to put in one of those big, enormous, soak forever baths!

  24. Melbourne Mumma

    Oh dear. I’m going to have to go out on a limb and say I love a good soak in the tub. Especially after exercising that day. When I get around to making the time for one, that is! But funnily enough last night I did – used the kids bubble bath too. Turn the lights out albeit a couple of candles and you can almost not make out the bath toys…almost… 🙂

  25. Green Mama

    I love the bath. Or used to- how relaxing is it to lie there, eyes closed and then be squirted somewhere exposed by gungy water that’s been sitting in a horrible squirty toy? Funny you wrote this post because last night Mama threw a wobbly and threw the bath toys and their stringy sucky bag into the bin, leaving a couple of tupperware containers and that’s it.

  26. In My House

    I do manage the odd relaxing bath… about once every 3 months… but am usually joined by a small child who thinks the bath is her domain. Then it ceases to be relaxing.

  27. Joni Llanora

    We do have a tub but come to think of it, I never got to use it yet. My daughter uses it for her bath and the bubbles. What I enjoy most is the after bath rituals – lotion, moisturizer, creams etc. I enjoy the scents (7 fid it relaxing) though at times I skip them all together…

  28. The Brown Trading Co.

    Well 5 months ago I got rid of our bath and put in what I call ‘a big arse shower’ instead – baths are over rated so over rated – so I tell myself in case I ever regret it. I do love my new shower though!

    Keren :o)

  29. Hot Cross Mum

    Oh you’re so right. Bath schmath. Have a quick shower and use the extra time scoffing chocolate I say.

  30. Cate Bolt

    I don’t get baths. At. All. What’s the point? You get in, clean yourself and then…just sit there…doing NOTHING. Not a fan. Especially in our house of very many children & one bathroom. One can’t even take a five minute shower without a constant parade of people knocking on the door.
    Bah humbug to baths.

  31. Bodaciousboomer

    Sadly the only way I can enjoy a bath now is if I know that tub is truly squeaky clean before I get in. Therefore I don’t bathe much. Showers yes, baths not so much.

  32. In Real Life

    That is such a cute image! I love taking baths, but my kids are a bit older now, and have outgrown the bath toy phase.

  33. Foxglove Spires

    I use to love baths but I haven’t actual had one in such a long time I can’t even remember when it was!

    Glad to hear your bath sort of relaxed you….. Love your image very cute.

    Have a wonderful Thursday. xxx

  34. Purple_cath

    Yes I used to love baths but this us exactly why I can’t be bothered with them now. My escape is the shower. I have my usual shower which is the quick get organised one but at night I have my cleansing wash away the day shower and I love it! Can’t wait til my little ppl grow up so I can have my bath back

  35. Kelly

    hehe, so true 🙂

  36. Sarah

    In my opinion baths are overrated and part of our renos was removing the big jacuzzi in out bathroom that we never used and making the shower bigger.
    Having regretted that decision ever since the builders arrived to demolish it, I am intensely grateful we have a new one being installed in the kids bathroom.
    At least I was until I read this post 😉

Pin It on Pinterest