It’s a pirate’s life for me (apparently)

Posted on October 13, 2010

Last time I visited my sister Maxabella, we found ourselves at a loose end and, consequently, delved deep into the contents of her TiVo. Somewhere near the bottom was an episode of Wife Swap USA, in which a professional organiser type with professionally organised husband and professionally organised children (seriously, I think they all went to sleep in individual, clearly labeled tubs each night) swapped with a woman whose family had chosen to live Piratically. In essence, like pirates. (cue: Arrrrrr!)

I was reminded of that one particular hour of my life (which I will never get back) today as both my boys ran around the house wearing piratical garb and speaking piratically. There was even some cutlass waving, which was quickly cut short when Mr3 attempted to trim Mr6’s nose hairs with said weapon. Again, the inspiration for this afternoon of mayhem was Maxabella. On Saturday, we will attend the Mermaid/Pirates party of my niece Cappers. Mr3 is beyond excited. He has been talking about his outfit for weeks.
It was agreed that pirates need three things: an eye patch, a hat (artistically tied bandanna also suitable), a sword. I tried to fob him off with a Captain Feathersword feathersword, but he scoffed (piratically) at the idea. Only babies have featherswords, apparently.
After an excursion to Spotlight today, he is the proud possessor of a skull-and-crossbones headscarf arrangement, an eye patch the size of his head and a cutlass that will need to be kept in a high cupboard as soon as the piratical party is over. Possibly before. He has chosen the four piratical tattoos that will adorn his body. He prefaces every sentence with ‘Arrrrrr Me Hearties’. And he takes to the high seas in the washing basket at the slightest provocation.
I have begun calling him The Dread Pirate Mr3, which he loves, despite not having the faintest idea what I’m talking about. I’m wondering if we have time for a viewing of The Princess Bride, one of my all-time favourite movies, before we set sail for the party. But perhaps not. I’m not sure I could cope with listening to Mr6 parrot ‘Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die’ for the next week.*
Speaking of which, Mr6 has one special request for his pirate costume. A parrot for his shoulder. Spotlight was all out of those.
It’s times like this I wish I’d been blessed with the craft gene. Arrrrr.
*If this paragraph makes no sense whatsoever, I thoroughly recommend a viewing of the movie.


  1. Mira Narnie

    catching up big time on your posts – The princess bride! ha, what can i say other than – BEST MOVIE EVER! love the pirate costume too (over at maxabella’s!) sounds like it was a great family affair

  2. Maxabella

    Thank you for outting me as both a Wife Swap viewer and a poor host.

    Bring that pirate garb on Saturday for lots of fanatical piratical mermaid chasing! x

  3. Cate

    Classic – just recently I sat my older two down for a screening of The Princess Bride (they were rivetted!). I remember it was one of only a very few movies that all my siblings (brothers included) loved and laughed at repeatedly! We have also IQ’d the Mythbusters Pirate special which has been the impetus for a great deal of piratical science 🙂

  4. Cath

    The question is, exactly what is the right age to introduce a munchkin to The Princess Bride? I know Mr4 would love it, but like you, I’m not sure I’m prepared for a certain line to be replayed constantly in public, never mind all the associated QUESTIONS!

    Have a great pirate week.

  5. A-M

    Oh we went through the pirate stage for years and years, recycling pirate garb for book week at school, fancy dress parties and birthday do’s. I’m almost sad that mine are getting too old for it all now. Enjoy! A-M xx

  6. MultipleMum

    Thanks for the tip about Spotlight. Am planning to duck out to the shops to acquire appropriate attire this evening. My kids don’t even know the party is on (I can’t stand all the counting down that looking forward to things entails) 🙁 Bad mother. I call it ‘managing expectations’!!

  7. DancingInTheRain

    An interesting fact I learnt this year – September 19th is International Talk like a Pirate Day! Arrr!

  8. Curvaceous Queen

    Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum – and that’s just for the parents 😉

    Just get a rolled up pair of socks and stick some feathers on it.

    Enjoy mermaids/pirates party ahoy

  9. allison tait

    @PinkPatentMaryJanes – that is HYSTERICAL. I’m going to look into it. Suspect Mr6 will not go for it, but classic idea.

    @Megan – I had no idea there was a book. A whole new world has just opened up…

  10. PinkPatentMaryJanes

    Arrrr, Bless!

    My brother-in-law once went to a party dressed as a pirate with an empty bottle of Toilet Duck on his shoulder {seriously, they make pretty good parrots…}

  11. Megan

    Love, love, love The Princess Bride. Ever read the book? Brilliant.

  12. martine

    The Princess Bride is just the best film ever, one of the few I will watch repeatedly, partly because I love Fred Savage who is the little boy having the story read to be his grandfather. Fond memories of all the times my brood had pirate days:-)
    thanks for sharing

  13. Deer Baby

    Pieces of eight and shiver me timbers me ol’scurvy-ridden wench.

    One of our best ever parties was a pirate party. We still talk about it. Hung a huge skull and crossbones flag out of upstairs window instead of the usual balloon, lots of chocolate coin hunting and pin the tail on the parrot, blindfold plank walking and a treasure chest cake. Could have done with a sword amnesty on the door as lots of near misses with eyes obscured by patches or bandanas.

    Hope they have a rum old time and don’t mutiny.

    (P.S. Did you see that UK story about a school girl writing to Johnny Depp to help with a mutiny and he actually turned up at the school?)

  14. Jodie at Mummy Mayhem

    Arrrr…yes. It’s a pirate’s life..

    Now excuse me whilst I leave this deserted island to see if my pirates have pillaged the pantry….

  15. inawelshgarden

    If I’d known I could have whipped you up a Parrot , no problem. I hope that a fab time is had by all at the Mermaids/Pirates party. Ooo Arrr!!* (*possibly a slightly camp pirate)

  16. Lucy

    “Arrrrrrr, you scurvy dog”

    We have a five year old similarly pirate obessessed. And a husband that indulges. (Andrew is, secretly, as keen as Charlie.) All this, coupled with far too much viewing of Spongebob, means we all have the pirate accent and turn of phrase down pat.

    Not sure I can go a reaslistic dead parrot though…..

  17. Toni

    Favourite. Movie. EVER!
    Pirates rock. Did you know you used to be able to translate your Facebook page into Pirate? I couldn’t understand a damn thing it said, but it sure was funny.

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